I'm a terrible person

Well, at least that's how I've felt this week.

I always try my hardest not to be self-centered or selfish and be helpful to others. But this week, without even trying to, I've been self-centered, selfish and non-helpful, if non-helpful is even a word!

Mainly, my brother has been making me feel like such a brat and I can't help but agree, but I would never admit that to him.

On Wednesday I had to wake up earlier than usual and leave earlier than usual because my brother is co-oping at the this private catholic boarding school, right? We were suppose to leave the house at 7:40am but my brother and my dad ended up walking out the door at about 7:43am and they sat in the car waiting for me till 7:47am
Jordan had to be at this co-op at 8:00am.
After school when we went to pick him up, he said when he walked into the school (At like, 8:05am) that his principal said to him "Oh, running a bit late this morning Jordan?"
First off all, pull that stick from your butt ms. principal. Five minutes? Come on.
Well, the whole thing was blamed on me, and Jordan went psycho on me but he has a bad temper anyways (seriously, the boy needs to relax and not sweat the small stuff).

On Thursday, my dad promised to take me to Best Buy after school to get my new laptop. We were in the store for about an hour, till about 5:45pm. I didn't know how long it would take! I also didn't know my dad and Jordan planned to go out for dinner before their hockey game!
So, again, it was all blamed on me and Jordan texted me calling me a spoiled brat and 'thanks for ruining the dinner plans'.

So now today, Friday, Ashley and I planned to go to the Outlet mall and get Rana her birthday gift. After school I noticed Ashley standing with Katy and Nicolette so I said "Yo, are we still going out tonight to get the gifts?" and they said that Katy & Nikki are going right now and that we could just go with them. So I think to myself, "oh awesome, then I wouldn't need a ride out to the Outlet Mall later tonight".
I called my brother and I said "hey are you here yet?" and he told me he'd been waiting 15 minutes and I was like "oh.. well, I'm actually getting a different ride.." and he flew off the handle and after some yelling and minor name-calling he hung up on me.
Then I get a call from my dad saying how Jordan waited for me and it would've been nice if I would have called him before so he wouldn't have had to drive all the way out to my school.

All of these situations are really really making me look bad!! Ok, so Wednesday, it sort of was my fault even though I am ALWAYS late but gah, I know, I should have been on-time.
But honestly, my family must think I'm this selfish, spoiled little bitch. I didn't mean to be! Honestly, I always try NOT to be like that. I guess I'll have to try a bit harder or something?

My mom told me I could have at least apologized first or show some sort of affection towards him or sympathy or something, but I'm just not that type of person.
I don't like to show affectionate emotions.. it's awkward.
Sometimes certain situations are ok, like Christmas or death of something.
I mean, my mom goes in for a hug and she tells me it's like hugging a pole or a limp fish or something because she knows how awkward and uncomfortable I feel.
I don't know why I'm like that. I'm still learning new things about myself pretty much daily so probably with more life experiences and whatever maybe I'll understand myself better.

And, to top off this whole 'Jessica is a selfish, self-centered brat' thing, I feel like my friends are putting MUCH more effort into planning Rana's birthday than they did with mine.
First of all, They (mainly Connie) planned this big surprise dinner for Rana. She invited nearly 30 people, made up invitations, called Boston Pizza and made reservations, created this plan to get Rana to the restaurant without knowing where she is going, brought her out for a sushi lunch at school, decorated her locker and are making her a cake.
Me? Oh, you know, I planned my own lunch and everyone tried to change the date/time because it wasn't convenient for them.

I know I sound like I'm a horrible, self-centered person, but I'll try better tomorrow, k?