Another Tuesday Not At School

This is the third week in a row that I have not gone to school on Tuesday. I don't know if it's because my Monday schedule is so crappy and hard on me (I start at 8am and having to wake up at 6:30am after being awake till 5am is really hard. I'm a night owl) or if it's because I have CRS on Tuesdays (Computer Reservation System ... aka my least favourite class because it doesn't come easily to me). I'm sure it's a combination of both.

My sleeping schedule is SO off. It usually is because I get really anxious if I try going to bed early, but lately it's just way way worse. I honestly have NO idea how I went to school 8am-3pm everyday in high school. Now starting some mornings at 10am is such a PAIN! Although, in high school, I had my mother and my brother yelling and screaming at my every morning to get my "ASS OUT OF BED". Now I have Sean who prefers to let me sleep in because I "looked so peaceful". Which is a lot nicer but I'm afraid my grades might start suffering.

I just have such a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. I think I know exactly the reasons though, and because there are quite a few, it makes it that much more difficult because I am the queen of excuses.

1. My and Sean's schedules are pretty much opposites. I start at 8am, he'll start at noon. I have a 2 hour break, he'll have a 2 hour class. The only day we both start at 8am is Fridays. All other days we start at different times. So when I have to wake up t 6:30am for school and he doesn't, I just do not want to walk in the snow and cold and dark to the bus stop by myself. I don't like walking and taking the bus by myself (it doesn't help that my grandmother used to tell me ALL the time that I'm more likely to get harassed or kidnapped because I'm pretty. I'm overly paranoid) and then having to go to class and be alone there. I like having Sean at school and knowing that I'm not alone.

2. The weather. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in Alaska or Nunavut because the sun doesn't rise till 8am and then it sets at 3pm. It's also absolutely FREEZING outside. Yesterday morning wile standing at the bus stop, it was a brutal -20 degrees! And NOW we're expected to get almost 3 feet of snow! WHEN WILL IT ALL STOP?!?! Summer, where you at baby??

3. I hate school. Why would I want to wake up early and spend my whole day at a place that makes me cry on multiple occasions? I have nearly double the work because the program I am in is fast tracked and I also have zero friends. Again, summer - HURRY UP PLEASE!

4. Depression. As I've mentioned before, I've diagnosed myself with depression. All I ever do is feel like sleeping and I cry at the drop of a hat.

Well, I'm over this. It's slowly turning into a depressing, self-loathing post. Let's look at the bright side - I've gotten back into crafts! I've had a sudden surge of creativity and I am itching to create things. I'm currently creating a wedding inspiration book because even though I won't be getting married for another 4 or 5 years, I am so obsessed with wedding at the moment and my internet bookmarks are being taken over by Allure wedding dresses and wedding photography and a million wedding blogs. I want to save everything so when I finally get proposed to I can be my own wedding planner. Ever since being a flower girl in my aunts wedding, I've fantasied about my own wedding and I'm obsessed with having every perfect!

Also, I've given in and bought a train ticket home this weekend. My mom is going to teach me to crochet! I am SO excited to learn! I've always loved crocheted things and now it;ll be so fun to finally know how to make my own! I already know how to knit and my mom told me that crocheting is much easier.

Since I've done nothing but sleep all today, I'm going to wash the dishes and clean the bathroom for when Sean gets home.